How to adjust your life with ?

After the Married Life

To Family, Friends and Houseguests:

Couples need to decide how often family and friends will be invited over and how much time they’ll spend socializing because people often have very different expectations of what’s appropriate. He may not want your mother staying with you for two weeks at a time and you may not want his old frat buddies taking over the living room. So speak up early and establish your family boundaries. “You have to make a decision that, if I’m going to get married, my family has to take second place, and you have to say that, they take second place. If you are not willing to put your family and friends second, then you’re not ready to get married,” From, Judge Lynn Toler, from the show Divorce Courtand now on the new show Decision House.

The problem that most married couples run into is that they say [what’s bothering them] when they’re angry. Never discuss serious issues in the heat of the moment, wait until later when everything’s fine and say ‘this is how I felt when that happened,’” Judge Toler says. “If it gets so heated that everybody’s yelling, you have to make an agreement that the argument will stop because it’s just not doing anything for you.” Nobody ever said marriage was easy, but we can all make the transition go much smoother if we’re willing to compromise. And to give us all a little perspective, these married women offer their advice for newlyweds:

“Be patient. Try to remember why you got married and the feelings you felt when you first got married.

“[Your partner] stays the same and the relationship stays the same. Things you like about the person you like more, and things that bother you bother you more. If you go into the marriage thinking that will somehow be different, you put unnecessary pressure on the relationship,” Melissa, married seven months, says. “There is no such thing as happily ever after. There’s good times and bad, but don’t expect to be happy all the time. People that expect to be happy all the time get disappointed a lot and get divorced early.

Money can be a sensitive issue, and we all need to figure out how to handle our savings, debts, investments and incomes. For some a joint account works fine, but for others, keeping your money separate or having a joint and separate account can be the key to staying together. Ideally we should figure out what system would be best before getting married.